Health and Wellness?

I struggle with anxiety and depression and I have since I was about 14. When I turned 18, I started dabbling with drugs and before I knew it, two years of my life had passed where I was numbed out to any real emotions so getting clean felt like getting hit by a train of emotions, good and bad. The past month or so I've been having quite a hard time with my depression due to certain circumstances and I've been leaning on my mom and my sister a lot more the past week. Up until a week ago, I had just been bottling things and let me tell you, that is definitely not a good way of handling things. Someone very close to my heart recently started experiencing anxiety and depression which, for her, is completely new territory because she's always been the strongest and the rock of her family. One night, she asked me what I do to deal with it and I honestly didn't know what to say. I realized that I had been just pushing everything aside and ignoring them and realized I need to start facing life head on again. I've been talking to my family a lot more and I'm trying to hang out with more of my friends again. I obviously see Dalton which is great and all, but I think I need to start seeing my other friends as well as much as possible, especially because Dalt hasn't been here nearly as much. I enjoy the alone time, but I'm pretty sure I need to start getting out into the world again.

Next on my agenda, is nutrition. My lifestyle is very, very unhealthy. I eat crap food (and a lot of it) and I pretty much never do any form of activity besides walking home from school. I've struggled with my weight for years and years and years and tried to lose weight in many different ways, but this time around, I'm just going to try and lose weight not to be skinny, but just to be healthier. I found a dance studio by my house that I'm going to look into and as soon as the community gym is done being renovated, I'll be going there a lot more. Joey Graceffa is pretty much the one who inspired me to start eating healthier, what with his green smoothies and chicken and brown rice. Lol I'll be eating pretty much exactly like Joey from now on just because I think that'll be a great way to start feeling better, mentally and physically.

This post is a bit random, but I did say that I'd do a slightly more detailed post about my newest nutrition regime and also thought I'd throw in a little personal touch about my life. :) Also, if anyone out there is struggling with depression or anxiety or anything, feel free to comment on this post and we'll talk because people should always have someone to talk to. <3

Fun Stuff!

Not really, but I did get some stuff today and yesterday that I'm really excited about. :) I went to Target yesterday and Costco with my dad today and grabbed some Naked Green Machine smoothie or something that tastes amazing! It's my way of easing into green smoothie world and better nutrition which I've been inspired to do by the wonderful Joey Graceffa. I'll be doing a full blog post about my new nutrition regime and a little bit about why I'm changing things up although I'm sure it's not too hard to figure out. Lol Anyways, onto the stuff from Target, yay! 

Botanics Hydrating Day Cream 
Botanics All Bright Cleansing Face Wipes

Rimmel Stay Matter Powder 018 Creamy Beige 
Maybelline Fit Me Concealer 25 Medium

Maybelline Colorsensational 420 Deepest Cherry 
Revlon Super Lustrous Creme Lipstick 477 Black Cherry 

Last, but not least, I got a new pair of black canvas shoes because my Converse were completely wrecked at this point. Yay!

Also, just an extra tid-bit, I got contacts today! I always wear glasses and I know in some of my photos on here I'm not wearing them, but that's just because the make up I had on wouldn't have been seen as easily. So now I officially don't have to wear my glasses anymore and I can start wearing sunglasses and still be able to see and mascara without my eyelashes hitting any lenses. :) Ta for now. 

Little Update and Estate Sale!

Sooo I've had a lovely little weekend, Dalton came over last night and I'll be honest, this past week was the longest we've gone without seeing each other in a very long time. He last left my house on Monday morning and didn't come back until last night. Haha He arrived quite late, but as per usual, we stayed up late, catching up on our weeks and watching Youtube videos and laughing and enjoying each others company once again, which was lovely. :)

Now, today I went to an estate sale, which is just like a massive, higher-end garage sale, with my parents and Dalton and we found some cool stuff! I think my dad found a pot (dad being practical, of course :P) and my mom bought loads of decorative items...she went a bit mad, if I'm honest, as moms sometimes do. Dalt didn't get anything, but he quite enjoyed the lady who was running the whole shindig, silly boy. ;) Although, he did find a nice fur coat that made him look...spiffy, to say the least. Lol

"Return of the Mack" ;)

I'm best friends with Macklemore! Lol
Dalton has always kinda reminded me of Mack, so the added coat was amazing. ;)

Some costume jewelry type clip-on earrings. Not a huge clip-on fan, but these were just too pretty!

I think this is actually a belt or something (or meant to be worn super long, I guess..),
but I'm gonna be making it shorter so it sits as a chunky necklace. I like. :)

I loved these boxes as soon as I saw them! I'm just going to keep jewelry and maybe
cute, little memories in them. <3 Thank you to Zoe's boot sale posts for the inspiration!

My wonderful mommy found this beaut for me and I absolutely love it!

So there you have it, my first estate/garage sale...haul? Lol I just thought I'd share about the stuff and of course, Dalton in his Macklemore swag. :) Today was so fun! It was awesome to spend time with my parents and Dalton and I laughed sooo much! It was nice to spend a day together after not seeing each other for so long (well, so long for us anyway). He's gone now, back to our other friend's house to stay there until he can come back on Friday, but before we left we had a Joey Graceffa marathon and ended on this hilarious video!

Dalton and I watched this last time he was here and died laughing during the Totoro part, so we had to watch it again and it's still just as funny as ever!

Wow, quite a long blog post, but that's all for now. :) I'm hoping to write a little bit more about what's really been going on with me lately, just about how I'm feeling and handling daily stresses and things sometime during this week. Fingers crossed that I'll actually get to it. Lol Goodbye! <3

Friday FOTD...Kind Of

I went out with my mom tonight and I was inspired a bit by the lovely Zoe Sugg's latest blog post and liked how it turned out so I thought I'd take some pictures. Now, the reason the title says "kind of" is because the quality of these pictures, as usual, are pretty crappy and it's kind of a FOTD because you can somewhat get the gist of what my make up looked like tonight. Lol Good news, though! I will hopefully be getting a new camera for Christmas! I'm so excited because I can finally take better quality pictures for here and just in general and maybe record some videos! :) I wish Christmas would come sooner so I won't have to post any more terrible quality pictures, but my iPhone is just going to have to do for now.

The inspiration. Courtesy of www.zoella.co.uk
Look at how beautiful miss Zoe looks and of course, the amazing quality of the photo! Lol

My attempt.
And notice, the beautiful quality of my photo here...not! Lol

And here's a peek at my outfit. Yes, I wore this to school last week, as well as tonight. :P

Unfortunately, I don't have the exact same products as Zoe, so I did what I could with what I had. I liked it! :) Here are all of the products I used:

Revlon Photo Ready Concealer in Light Medium 003

Revlon Under Eye Concealer in Light

Maybelline Dream Fresh BB 8-in-1 Beauty Balm Skin Perfector

NP Set Pasarella Powder Foundation #3

Milani The Multitasker Face Powder in Medium Tan 06

Maybelline Fit Me Blush in Deep Coral

Shiseido The Makeup Pre-makeup Cream

Rimmel Volume Accelerator Mascara in 003 Extreme Black

Brown Covergirl pencil eyeliner (which the actual label rubbed off of..oops)

NYX The "All I've Ever Wanted" Box

L'Oreal Infallible Lipstick in 741 Bold Bordeaux

Thanks for the inspiration, Zoe!

Fast Company

This past Tuesday, I had the opportunity to see a play for free at a local theater with my Contemporary Lit professor and some other kids from class. I enjoyed it a lot! The theater was beautiful inside and out and it was nice to have an opportunity to get a little more done up for a night. :) I felt quite fancy walking around the outside of the theater in my little black dress and pearls, if I'm honest. Lol The premise of the play, Fast Company by Carla Ching, is just about a family of cons and the up and downs they all experience as they steal from others, each other, and learn what family truly is. It was pretty good and one of the actors reminded me so much of an Asian Joseph Gordon-Levitt and the language used in the play was so much like Rian Johnson (my favorite writer and director; Looper, Brick) that I had to love it. :) After the play was finished, there was a quick Q & A with the cast and the literary director of South Coast Repertory. It was interesting to hear some of the details of what it's like being in a play and it sort of re-kindled my love for the theater! Lovely little experience, that was. 

Unfortunately, I couldn't take photos during the show, but here are some snaps from the night.

Not wearing my pearls yet, but here's what I wore. :)

This definitely does not do the beauty of the theater justice, but it'll have to do.

A Special Twitter Moment From Wyatt Starkman

Dance has been a passion of mine for years and years, but for over five years, I haven't set foot in a studio and I just barely dance anymore because I just don't seem to have the confidence. However, I've continued to love and appreciate people that do dance. There's a young dancer from LA, named Wyatt Starkman, who I've been obsessed with the past several months. He's incredibly talented and he really inspires me to not only get back into a dance studio again, but to really enjoy life and be passionate about it! I tweeted him earlier today and I was pleasantly surprised to see that he retweeted me! I'm going to be honest here, this is a complete fangirl moment, but I don't even care. I was excited and had to share it. ;)

So there it is, my Wyatt Starkman fangirl moment. Lol

Here's a video of Wyatt and some of his friends and I definitely suggest you give it a watch! If you like it, click the video to go to his Youtube page! :)

Friday Funtime

This past Friday, Dalton invited me to go with him to a little get together and even though it was a small gathering, I was quite nervous to go. I haven't been out anywhere unfamiliar in about a year and my anxiety skyrocketed whilst driving there, but I'm happy to inform that I had so much fun! :) It was a lovely night with my best friend full of laughing and dancing and just good times!

Here are a few photos of the night.

So focused. ;)

:)

Laughing it up (clearly this was taken during a sober moment. Lol)

The aftermath.

Keep in mind, drink alcohol responsibly and only if you're of age.

For the rest of the weekend, Dalton and I just relaxed and watched Supernatural. :) I hope everyone had a lovely weekend!

We Love You Cory

Courtesy of weheartit.com

Dalton and I just finished watching the tribute episode of Glee and he and I definitely had to take advantage of the tissue box. It was was done wonderfully and I think we got to mourn and celebrate him at the same time. A huge part of why Dalton and I were crying so much is because we both kept thinking of our friend, Casey, who passed back in February the same way as Corey...we all miss you both, you wonderful boys. <3

Cory, I was gonna write you a letter, thanking you for being such a huge inspiration to me and now I'm sad I won't get to, but here's some of it. Every time, I felt alone or needed someone or was just sad in general, I would watch you and the cast on Glee and always feel better. I would watch Glee and I'd also watch all the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of you and you always made me smile. When I first was getting into treatment and was going through withdrawal and everything, I watched you and Glee and sang the songs and I'd laugh and just always feel better. You did so much for my life and you don't even know it. When I first found out you were an addict, but had gotten clean, you should me that I could find happiness without drugs and I could turn my life around and make it anything I want. Thank you for everything, Cory, you're loved and missed.

Casey, I still can't believe you're gone. Some days I'll wake up and forget and I'll think I can still call you or expect to see some philosophical post of yours on Facebook. You were such an amazing light in this world and I feel so privileged to have been friends with you. We always used to say we'd get clean and leave all of that bullshit behind...I wish I had helped you more so that we could have gotten out together. Now, all I can do is live my life the way that we always said we would and be clean and really enjoy life. You've taught me so much about life and what it means to be a decent human being. You'd always sing song lyrics and tell me how much you cared and loved me and you had one of the most biggest smiles I've ever gotten to see. You were one of the most beautiful, kind, genuine people I've ever met and I wish I had spent more time with you towards the end. Some days I'll find that it's harder to remember your voice than others, but you always come back to me. I love you Casey, I'll never forget you.

If anyone reading this is struggling with addiction or knows someone that is, please comment below and I'll let you know how to contact me and I'll try to help any way that I can. You're not alone. <3

More Pictures...

I stumbled upon three more pictures, as Lindsey would say, so here they are. And please do excuse the quality of these ones and the ones in the last post. <3

Lindsey's Visiting and a Kingsley Response!

So my friend, Lindsey, who I've mentioned before is here visiting from Washington and she is spending the night tonight so we took some pictures and I thought I'd share. :)

It's raining here in California and this is the result of walking home from school. Lovely, I know. :P

And to end off my night, I got an e-mail saying that Kingsley (yes, THE Kingsley from YouTube!) replied to my comment on his newest video upload! :) I definitely had a fan moment!

A very short post, I know, but that's all I've got for now, hopefully I'll be back on here tomorrow. :)

Goodnight!

Sleep Is For the Weak...Not Really!

Sleep is actually for the sane. Lol So I've not slept yet as my sleeping habits have been a bit wonky as of late and I stayed up all night last night because I'm hoping to stay up all day today as well and be able to pass out tonight (and I just wasn't tired because I slept all day yesterday...oops). I have one more exam today for my online class and then exams are done! Until next time, that is. Anyways, I thought I'd pop over to Starbucks to get a very strong coffee and do some last minute cramming, but not before I do some blogging and YouTube watching, of course. :)

I should not have a camera of any kind available to me when I'm tired, clearly. :P

Venti Iced Starbucks Double Shot with four pumps of White Mocha

Ooo, look! I found The Vamps playing their new single "Can We Dance" on my YT subscriptions feed! :) Very talented boys, check them out if you haven't yet!

The Quarterback

This is only the promo and I can't stop crying. Next week's episode is going to be so hard to watch. If anyone watched my video, you may know my love for Cory and that cast, and just ugh. :' ( You can just hear that Lea's crying during the song and seeing everyone and Rachel and Mr. Schuester...it kills me. And this promo is also bringing up some memories of a friend I lost to the exact same thing. It's going to be a hard episode. Cory seemed like such an amazing young man in so many ways and I really did look to him for inspiration when I was first getting clean...I was honestly going to write him a letter to thank him and it really sucks that I lost that chance. RIP Cory, you're loved and missed.

Sunday Dinner with Dalton and the Fam Bam

Sorry for the terrible quality!

So I haven't had the desire to do anything besides lay in bed since Monday because Dalton got sick last Thursday and I unfortunately caught his cold over the weekend while he was here. It also happens to be exam week. Yay! I will say that I feel a bit better today than I have been though. Anyway with that little bit of info out of the way, here are some photos of Dalton and I from Sunday when we went to dinner with my family for my dad's birthday. :) PS - excuse Dalton and I, we went a bit camera happy. Lol

Yay for super posed pictures with your best friend! :P

Messing around in the car :)

Dalton looking spiffy. ;)

Derp.

<333

Lol :)

Mommy, Daddy, and my sister, Chrissi :)
I love my family. <3

It was such a good day with my family and my best friend! :) Lots of laughs and messing about and my dad loved his presents too which I'm happy about! Hope all is well! I'm hoping to get back on this blogging thing soon. 

<3